Nov 25, 2007

Post feast musings


I am sluggish from my third Thanksgiving feast. I had one with our Preschool Co-op, one with the family and one tonight with friends.

I love to eat. I find it tremendously comforting. I often eat out of boredom in addition to grabbing things to eat when I'm frustrated or depressed. I love the ritual of actually consuming something. And I would do it all the time if I could.


Do you see a problem here?

Yes.

I also love to buy. I find it tremendously comforting. I often buy out of boredom in addition to buying things when I'm frustrated or depressed. I love the ritual of actually purchasing something. And I would do it all the time if I could.

I still have a *bit* of a consumerism issue. Food and stuff.

Buy Nothing Day sucked.

Ok, it was actually a really nice day, but I was very tempted at 5 am to get up and drive to any store any where to buy SOMETHING. I didn't even know what, I just wanted that feeling of getting something.

Later in the day I found things I could go get, like sweats for the kids, or sheets. But Matt wouldn't let me go. He said we could go, but we couldn't buy. What freaking good would that be?

I was a little bitter.

We started this whole quest for anti-consumerism in January and here I am almost December and I have hardly grown. At least I'm not at the super simplified zen place I thought I'd be. Will I get there by the end of 2007?

The picture I posted is Scarlet asleep in a wrap-hammock while we did yardwork on Friday. i couldn't find anything that symbolized the lameness of my state of mind right now or the frustration with where I'm NOT.

So, I just posted something sweet. The only really simple thing I do is mother these kids.

4 comments:

Malva said...

It's a really sweet picture.

Consumerism is really far reaching and I don't think you should be too hard on yourself over still wanting to buy after 11 months on the compact.

You could have taken a trip to Value Village or some place like that...

Will you continue the compact next year too?

Sarah said...

I love your blog.

I'm sorry Black Friday was tough on you. You may not be where you want to be, but I have to tell you that you're already setting an example. I have been lurking here a lot and I told everyone that I pledged to celebrate "Buy Nothing Day." And I did succeed. My sister-in-law took me to a cross-stitch store that I could have bought one of everything and I proudly walked out empty handed.

Thank you for sharing your journey! Also, it's my opinion that the only place you ever "arrive" is at the next step.

I almost had to ask which wrap that was, but upon closer inspection I think it's two, right?

By the way, have you read "The Hundred Dollar Holiday" by Bill McKibben? Get it at the library!

Carolyn said...

I have not read the Hundred dollar Holiday...yet!!

Thanks for the compliments...I love the idea of being an inspiration- even if my own journey doesnt accomplish what I'd hoped.

Oh, and Scarlet was in an Ulli (Storchenweige) hammock with a Martin (Didymos) draped over for warmth!

Moo.. said...

I just had to tell you how much I simply adore that picture of your beautiful baby. It is so full of sweetness!