May 25, 2007

Identity


So much of this whole journey we're on is messing with our identities. All the failures and successes with doing the Compact and just trying to ditch consumerism has meant that Matt and I have had to take a hard look at ourselves.

My first reaction? Yikes.

But I feel like I'm starting to come into myself- I think.

For me, I have lumped my indentity mostly in what other people think of me. I thought I had it tied up in "stuff" mostly, but no, I'm sure now that the whole people pleasing thing takes the cake.

I have always seen my physical appearance as sort of metaphorical somehow. So, I felt it was time to say "I find my security in God." again.

I have had blue streaks off and on- but never this big- and I love it. It irritates the heck out of my parents- but I'm trying to let go of all that. I want my life to be about subversing- not adhering to the normal.

And I want to have fun.

Please excuse the poser face I'm making in this photo. I realize I'm not 17 anymore and I'm not on a photo shoot or anything (or a cheesy myspace). I have always taken a bunch of over-prepared pictures of myself to sort of find myself somewhere in them. But that is a result if not being happy with my real face. But thats another post.

5 comments:

simplelivingmomma said...

Carolyn-TO FUN!! You are beautiful with blue hair, or brown, or red, or whatever.

Melissa said...

I say hooray for you! Embrace who God made you to be instead of trying to live up to what someone else wants you to be!

nea said...

i think you are so beautiful, no matter what color your hair is. i would love skin and eyes like yours!

Carolyn said...

My people-pleasing obsession has been life long and I'm only recently realizing how bad it is for me. But- I should start another blog for that....

Nea- it's funny that you mention my skin. 'I've had horrible skin all my life until these last couple years. I cant believe how it looks now- my acne used to be terrible.

Thanks for the compliments. So much of the simple living thing for me is about me excepting me without stuff to make me more exceptable to myself.

I think Matt has the same issues- but with like, Jeep stuff and music equipment!

Btw, Matt's new personal blog is AWESOME! He's such a good writer and I love him- but I'm mildly biased since he's the father of my kids and all.

Anonymous said...

Good on you, I say! I am so on the same page at the moment. After many years of dressing, acting and doing what I thought I should as a "good Christian" girl, I am now only just discovering myself at 28 with 2 kids and a husband! I can love God and still have a nose stud! You can love God with blue hair!