Jul 3, 2007

A princess turns 30


This month has flown.

I mean- last month (June) flew. I cant believe we are already in the middle of the summer. Its so crazy how life rolls. There are days that seem so long and then, there are days you hardly remember.

In all this it has been SOOOO easy to get materialistic. Epsecially me.

My birthday was in June and that ALWAYS gives me a sense of entitlement. I really tried to look at it as a time for introspection and inspiration- but really, I tend to see my birthday as a time to go buck wild at the mall.

Like Matts last post said- we've backslidden quite a bit.

I always dump all my wants on my birthday. This year it was a new Espresso machine, a number of new wraps (baby carriers), new shoes, maybe a camera. I guess I just lose my head and start thinking of all the limitless possiblities as far as birthday presents go.

I always get myself into a slump over this- of course I cant get all those things. I think the problem is the fact that I even feel like I SHOULD have those things.

For example- the Espresso machine- the only reason I want a new one is because I know I dont have the BEST one. Yes- I'm that much of a snob! Or maybe princess is a better term.

Yikes. I dont want to be a princess. I HATE that term. But I should be honest with myself- that is my mentality as far as what I need to make my life happy. Sometimes you discover really scary things about yourself.

As far as reality goes, I got a lot of stuff anyway. I'm plenty blessed and my family loves me. I'm only really entitled to life and love.

So, I may be a year older, but I still have a lot of growing up to do.

2 comments:

nea said...

i had been missing your posts! happy birthday!

Linda said...

I just wanted to say I *love* your hair!