Sorry. We've been really busy lately. Summer has been full of adventure and challenge ...and unfortunately, we have left a lot unsaid. Where to start...
We have been up and down a lot in the past few months. Some days, simplicity seems almost attainable; other days, obscenely distant. I was ruminating on the past few weeks today and came to a realization. Bear with me, this is a work in progress.
I have always thought that balance was something to strive for. I always thought that there was a line of sorts in life that each person could walk down and be balanced. If they strayed from the line, life was out of balance and therefore less than perfect. This metaphor seemed to work because it was always able to explain the times life stunk. It stunk because the person's life was out of balance. As I grew older this made less and less sense, but old habits die hard, so I stuck with it.
The past few months of our journey have been wholly different than the first few months. In the beginning, it was easy to stay on track. Our fervor made up for several holes in the plan. But, as time goes on, our fervor has been replaced with tired fear and; often, a sense of hopelessness. There have been many days where it seems impossible to live with less, buy less, be more sustainable. Sometimes we just feel like saying, "Ah screw it, it was a nice try. Where do we shop first?"
Today, I was reminded that this journey was never meant to be an experiment, it was meant to be a change in our life-rhythm. And then it hit me! Balance is like a see-saw.
If you've ever ridden a see-saw (and if you haven't, shut off the computer and go to the park immediately) you know how difficult it is to balance in mid-air. It's much easier to go up, then down, then back up again. The beauty of this analogy, is that it leaves room for life. When we're going down, we know that we'll come back up in a moment. Also, other people are involved. It takes two to ride a see-saw, it takes a community to live simply. Thirdly, we have a lot more control on the speed of our ascent and descent. All you have to do is shift your weight a little and the speed of your life can change dramatically, which brings me to the point of this post...
When we decided to simplify, we were on the way up. We shifted a lot of our weight and shot to the moon for a time, but with our head in the clouds, we laid back and fell out of the sky. For a time, we lost the beauty of simplicity in order to conquer it, we've posted about that before (Here). Well now we are shifting our weight again and are beginning to rise, slowly, but rise none-the-less.
Thanks for all the email and comment/post reminders that we are part of a community, we promise to stop being so distant and let you back in on our journey and our lives, as long as you promise to push up when your down and sit back a little when your up. That will make this see-saw work a lot better.
Jul 15, 2007
Jul 5, 2007
Or whatever it was that ripped through my family this week.
We were all bed-ridden for the last two days, but it couldn't have been better for my soul. When everyones sick- you are down to the basics of survival. Water, simple foods, shelter. A clean toilet helps too.
My kids have been rough so far this summer and I've been having trouble liking them. Not loving them....LIKING them. But when they are all sick and weak and snuggly- I remember that these are my babies...my sweet babies.
And this house- when I'm sick, this tiny dirty house is ENOUGH. Not too small- just fine for now.
And when I'm throwing up...I'm not obsessing over getting another tie-dye skirt, or new fabric for couch covers, or new lip gloss. I don't feel the need to go out and get a fancy meal or a mocha- I'm just trying to get my stomach to stop cramping.
Yeah, it's kinda sad that vomiting and body aches are what it takes to set me right- but at least theres hope for me. I just hope I can see the light more often and with less bodily affliction.
Sorry- no photo this time---theres nothing you want to see here right now.
Posted by Carolyn at 11:49 AM
Jul 3, 2007
This month has flown.
I mean- last month (June) flew. I cant believe we are already in the middle of the summer. Its so crazy how life rolls. There are days that seem so long and then, there are days you hardly remember.
In all this it has been SOOOO easy to get materialistic. Epsecially me.
My birthday was in June and that ALWAYS gives me a sense of entitlement. I really tried to look at it as a time for introspection and inspiration- but really, I tend to see my birthday as a time to go buck wild at the mall.
Like Matts last post said- we've backslidden quite a bit.
I always dump all my wants on my birthday. This year it was a new Espresso machine, a number of new wraps (baby carriers), new shoes, maybe a camera. I guess I just lose my head and start thinking of all the limitless possiblities as far as birthday presents go.
I always get myself into a slump over this- of course I cant get all those things. I think the problem is the fact that I even feel like I SHOULD have those things.
For example- the Espresso machine- the only reason I want a new one is because I know I dont have the BEST one. Yes- I'm that much of a snob! Or maybe princess is a better term.
Yikes. I dont want to be a princess. I HATE that term. But I should be honest with myself- that is my mentality as far as what I need to make my life happy. Sometimes you discover really scary things about yourself.
As far as reality goes, I got a lot of stuff anyway. I'm plenty blessed and my family loves me. I'm only really entitled to life and love.
So, I may be a year older, but I still have a lot of growing up to do.
Posted by Carolyn at 9:09 AM