Trying to find the lesson here...

In 2005 we bought this house. Our first house. Our first mortgage.

Who knew 3 years later we'd be a statistic you'd hear about on the news?

Yes we were one of those families that got a crappy interest only loan that is now about to go variable, only the house has dropped so much in value we can't afford the difference anymore.

Wonderful. We were cautious. We waited 7 years to buy. We searched for the right place to live, and then, our choices of homes were few and we bought small so we could afford it, figuring we could always move up.

But we stuck with this place, feeling it was right to make it work. We tried to simplify. I've wrestled with every conrer of this place trying to make everything fit and work and thrive. I've tried everyway of arranging furniture, every way of making it so the kids could have places of their own, searched for more and more to purge. Anything to suceed in something we feel is right for us- living small, and counter to the American dream of the giant house with giant amounts of stuff.

I struggled with wanting change. I wanted to buy an RV and live on the road. I wanted (badly) to buy the house next to us (a big, shiny nice house), but we didn't. We stuck with this place.

Then I got inspired to make THIS our dream place. "Bloom where planted"! Very responsible! We'll add on! We'll remodel little by little! Lets build a fire pit! I want a labryinth!

Then, this house takes a dump on us once again. We got a completely dismal appraisal- I mean hopelessly low.

Most people who fell for those awful loans bought up- they bought the 2500 sq ft montstrousities, they went for the dream of 3 car garages. We are dying of our 2 bedroom, 2 bath 850 square foot house on one acre in rural California.

We are feeling pretty let down. Pretty shafted by trying to be responsible. We can't win! We can't afford the lack of space! Maybe we need to downsize!

We hope to get it re-appraised or get a different loan, I don't know, something. I'm kinda wishing a tree would fall on it while we are out shopping or something. But, I tend to like the easy way out of things. I guess thats not going to happen.

I don't want to rent. I love our town, and theres nothing to rent here that wouldn't be more than what we're paying now. Maybe my attitude is bad, I'm sure it is.

Stick with us as we figure out how not to lose our "mansion" that is sucking us dry.