Apr 24, 2007

Are we losing it?

We might be.

Lately this blog seems to be more about our failures at simplicity than any progress or success.

Perhaps we need to let go of our ideal of simplicity that we have seen on other peoples sites or at other peoples homes, and find our own path.

Does that make sense?

I hope I'm not just justifying amendments we've made to our pact. It's so hard for us to know what is healthy and what is insane. I think we both come from homes that were imbalanced when it came to spending and material wealth.

Like we've said so many times...this rabbit hole goes deeper than we've thought. We've both struggled with depression over all this. I get a serious sense of failure most days.

Well, hang in there with us. Watch us lose it.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hang in there! You are both trying your best, and that is what counts. Simplifiying your life is going to be personal for your family, so try not to be too hard on yourselves or compare your successes to those of others. Wishing you continued luck in your journey!

Anonymous said...

Carolyn and Matt,
I'm just chiming in to add some encouragement. I want you both to know how much of an inspiration you've been to my dh and I, all the way out in rural NH! Please have patience with yourselves. You are trying to learn a new rhythm, remember? That takes a long long time when you've spent a lifetime living with one set of values. Besides, I think "simplicity" is the wrong word for what your going for. I mean, life with three young kids is NEVER simple, right? For me, the word that holds resonance is "sustainablity"... Simplicity is one part of that, but (for me anyway, a very disorganized person) the larger truth has to do with rootedness and centeredness. Sometimes life with small children is thoroughly chaotic and enormous messes ensue--but if we are rooted and strong in the Divine Spirit that resides within us, we can handle anything. I'll close my midnight ramblings (sorry if I don't make any sense--I'm really tired!) with a quote:

"Clutter and mess show us that life is being lived."
--Anne Lammott

Best of luck to you both on your journey, wherever it leads you.

Stone Fence Farm said...

What Caren said.

You guys are doing great. Maybe you just need a break. You can't beat yourself up for trying to make the world a better place.

Carolyn said...

Well - we are going to Disneyland tommorow. Hows that for a break? Not a cheap break- but fun.

Nicola said...

I absolutely echo what Caren said. Both when she says that you have been an inspiration (and we are urban, which has its own challenges when simplifying) and when she uses the word sustainability. Simplifying means something different to each family. For us, it means reducing our earthly footprint...by buying used, by buying locally, by reducing our consumption of gas/electricity/water/etc, and more. We are far from perfect. We took a gas guzzling road trip for a week, bought some groceries at Wal- Mart (I HATE Wal-Mart), and I still have trouble remembing my own mug when I go out for that tasty cup of coffee treat that I could really just make at home. you guys have a fabulous vacation. We will miss both of your posts, which are insightful and inspiring.

Unknown said...

Hi Carolyn,

I found your blog on MDC and you have been such an encouragement to me. My husband and I (along with our 2 kids) are on a journey similar to yours...we can do it!!! Try to focus on what changes you have made...not on what you "need" to do. I know I want the process to go a lot faster than it is seeming to go for us, but I have to think that changes made over the long run are more permanent than those made in haste or out of some knee-jerk reaction of feeling pressured to live up to what we think others are doing...ykwim?

Be encouraged!
Melissa

Anonymous said...

I think the fact that you guys are doing this is enough, what does it matter if you slip up now and again? Don't be so hard on yourselves, take it one step at a time. Doing it all in one go rather than a gradual change will be so tough. Keep it up and go easy on yourselves.

Shannon said...

Finding your own path is definitely the way to go. And if that means you're not a carbon copy of someone else that's not only ok, it's great! Take it easy on yourself. You're not failing - you're learning and growing and changing. Change is hard :)