Carried

I cannot remember being carried by my parents. I'm sure that I was, but I cannot remeber. It is funny what one forgets. I remember being made fun of for singing "Zippity Doo Dah" in the bathroom at the back of the class in third grade. I remeber standing on my bed and watching my father mow the lawn when I was three. I can't remeber a single Christmas morning before I was ten. But I remeber most of my Birthday parties. I cannot remember what my parents dreamed about, but I can remeber--vividly--what they worried about.

Our children will have a tough time forgeting that we carried them, there are picture of them wrapped to Mommie all over. There are picture of them on Daddy's back. What else will they remeber about their parents?

It is becoming more and more clear that this entire process of deconsumerization is deeply changing the way we parent our children. Before, we spent a lot of time away from our home. Shopping, eating out, bowling, whatever. Now, we are home together, in a small house, a lot! The TV is usually off and the music is usually on. Our kids are great, but like all children they have difficult moments (often days, weeks, even months). The past few weeks have been especially challenging.

Our yougest (7mths) is fully mobile, crawling all over the place, "Bah Buh Bah," as she goes. She is into anything and everything she can grab. Our three-year-old is at a communication crossroads. She is begining to explore her emotional personality (hopefully she'll move past frustration and anger onto something else soon). She acts out her emotions a lot better than she can communicate them right now. For instance, breaking a toy tea pot over her brothers head when she is angry, instead of talking it out. The oldest (6 in April) is begining to read and write, he loves school and is picking up the violin, but he is struggling to get adequate attention. He needs to be carried.

The girls went to bed early last night and Wyatt did not. He stayed up asking questions well past the time that I was able to answer them. We talked about a lot of things, ghosts (real or not), games he is inventing (more complex than most tax forms) , and what he was learning in school (I'm not sure any of it is in the cirriculum). He just needed to be carried. He needed to know that we were still there to hold him, support him, love him.

He doesn't need the TV, doesn't need new toys (he'd rather tie some sticks together and make a sword), doesn't need expensive entertainment. He needs us. He needs friends. He needs community. This journey has been about finding the joy in simplicity. Well, here it is. A more simple lifestyle gets life down to the nitty gritty. What really matters is all that counts. And all that matters to Wyatt right now is that he is loved, that he can ask questions, that he can still be carried. How much simpler can life get?

I hope that Wyatt, Violet, and Scarlet all remeber that we were always there to carry them.

Now, if we could just figure out what Violet needs before she smashes something else...we'll be good.