Feb 1, 2007

Have you seen this shoe?


Because I haven't. And I have a sneaking suspicion I may have dropped it somewhere. Which means it's gone.

And I am bummed. Sure it's just a little used baby shoe i bought from another mama last week. But the fact that I have already lost it due to the fact that I haphazardly stuffed it in my purse at the pediatricians office just steams me. (and yes, I did call and ask if any had seen it)

I'm doing so well at buying used and everything, and having to possibly replace something that I only received a week ago makes me feel like I'm not worthy of living this way. My stuff is disposable. And I obviously cant take care of ANYTHING. Not even an $8 pair of used Robeez.

I read an awesome thread on Mothering.com today about how this mama went to visit family in a foreign country. She said their house was totally uncluttered and they lived with exactly what they needed and nothing more. Then the discussion turned to our culture and how everything in Americas is disposable.

The comments struck me because I have always lived this way. It's OK to let your $60 sweater lay on the floor and get trampled- I mean, it's not like I can't buy another one. Or, it's OK to trash my minivan- I want a different car sometimes anyway. If I let my lunch bag get gross and moldy- I can buy a cooler one.

It's OK that I'm a disorganized mess- if I lose something, I'll just get another one. Like a shoe.

I cant do this anymore. My car is a mess. My kitchen is a mess, my head is a mess- and my possessions are getting trashed because I have too many and I don't take care of anything. Can you tell I'm a little disgusted with myself?

I'll try to clean out my car in case, by chance, I missed it somehow, but I'm fairly sure the shoe is gone. And it'll have to be replaced. Let's hope I can manage to take care of the next pair.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

what is the name of the article that you mentioned in mothering .com please? I couldn't find it.
please contact me on this address mishlashim@hotmail.com thankyou
keep up the good work love the blog

Anonymous said...

contact Robeez and tell them you lost a shoe. they have a one-time replacement policy. and virtual (and organized) hugs for you from a stranger.

Anonymous said...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=607497

Carolyn said...

Thanks for the link- and the suggestions.

Today when I was gettting in the car, I was already having a crappy day, when I realized a problem with my vandoor was getting worse. It wouldnt stay open and it was hard to get the baby in and out. I lept slamming it open, when I realized something was jammed in the track.

Do I really need to tell you what it was? A small leather baby shoe.
A little scuffed up, since someone kept slamming it in the door, but found nonetheless.

If you saw my car, you would not be surprised at how this could have happened. It's a total and utter disaster. I should take pictures.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for a bit and i've seen your posts on MDC as well.
SO much of what you say resonates with me, I just haven't been able to put it into words. Although I have no sage advice to give you, I will say that you aren't alone in your journey. I'm new to compacting, and trying so hard to get my act together. I am starting to feel more and more as if my "stuff" owns me instead of the other way around.

And OMG, you should SEE my minivan. I die of embarrassment every time someone so much as looks inside.

Drop me a line if you ever need a compacting "buddy"... or just someone to chat with!

-Christine

Anonymous said...

I was just reading your blog and when I saw your post about your missing shoe, I said a little "manifesting" chant for you. I came here to post a comment and YAAAYYY YOU FOUND IT!!!! I could literally visualize your babe wearing her shoes while wrapped in a sling - attached to her wonderful momma while flashing daddy a quick smile! I knew you'd find/found this shoe!! May child like innocents be the driving force on this long road to "a simply life" - your blog has incouraged me to re-evaluate and reconnect!! Have a blessed day
Lee Ann
aka
carolina~mom2be (mothering)