Feb 7, 2007

Hard work slays the depression beast


The last couple days in California. the weather has been gorgeous. It's been warm, sunny, with a light breeze. But we have winter weather on it's way, so everyone around our town has been burning and clearing and doing last minute stuff before it gets too cold again.

Well, I decided it was time for me to finally get some bulbs in the ground that I never planted in the fall. I felt so much guilt about buying them, then never planting them. So, with the "fall-like" weather we've had this week, I felt I'd been given another chance!

I got out a shovel and planted on Monday. Then I noticed how much the pine needles had balnketed the area around the house and since the baby wasn't fussing, I went for it and just raked for an hour or so.

Then yesterday, I saw that it was a burn day (we have days where it's legal to burn and days where you have to have a permit), so, I gathered up some piles, strapped the baby to my back and burned!

I have so much guilt over the house and the way I let it get disasterous, but with a fussy baby, being inside seems impossible. She loves being in the wrap outside, and so this was a good way to get things done.

I've been so depressed this last couple weeks (yes, the funk continues). I even messed up a little and bought a baby sling from my friend in the preschool coop. I justified it because she made it with vintage material, but I feel pretty guilty about it. And the pair or wool longies I bought from her, too. I was weak.

But yesterday, out in my yard, looking down the hill at my house, with my kids collecting sticks and singing songs, and my baby asleep up against my back, everything was somehow ok again. I'm not off-track, I'm not a slob, I'm just here....now. And I know that all the sweat and yard work helped me get there.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can relate to your 'buyer's remorse'. My wife and I are constantly buying things, especially for the kids that they don't need. We always consider taking them back once we get them home and sometimes do. It's too easy to convince ourselves that THIS purchase is a good decision even though the past couple weren't.

Like your yard work, I find that finding a project around the house keeps me out of trouble and my wife happy. Plus, the sense of accomplishment makes you feel like a "good steward" of your home.

Carolyn said...

I do sew---a little bit! I plan on trying my when I can make room for a sewing area...somewhere....

I am trying hard to keep out of trouble and be a good steward of this house! I need to remember that bringing more stuff in here isn't going to improve my life- even if the thrill of purchasing something seems to make me happy for a day or so.

Anonymous said...

In the case of buying the sling from your friend, you can rationalize that you are helping your friend out as well, and keeping your money in the hands of "real" people, and not big business. So, no guilt needed. :)

Nicola said...

tasha-rose, what pattern do you use for the sewn longies? please share! i have just picked up a couple of wool sweaters off of Freecycle to felt (just throw in a hot wash, right?), lanolize, and sew into covers and longies for my daughter, who is leaking through everything else right now. i need to hurry up! i have resorted to disposables the last couple of nights.

Nicola said...

Thanks, Tasha-Rose! I love putting recycled materials and my $15 used sewing machine to use. I looked through your slideshow of projects and it looks as though you do too! You are quite artistic and resourceful. I love it!