Head Down

My son, my nephew, and my father joined me for a hike on Sunday afternoon. I planned on taking them all to one of my newest favorite places. There is a new regional trail system in our area that winds its way through rolling oak infested hills and down to a beautiful stretch of the American River. We planned on hiking down to the river and panning for gold. I've found quite a bit on the American and I thought I would share a bit of fun and history with my family.

We strolled down the trail quickly and arrived at the river with baited breath. What treasures did the river hold? The young boys were ready to stake a claim and begin their cowboy lives living near the river. They were busy exploring the rock outcroppings past a gravel beach while I set up to clean out a few small crevices in the rocks that might yield gold. As I dug through my pack, my father noticed a change in the river.

"Matt, I think the river is coming up," he said a little anxiously.

"Yeah it might come up and go down a little, they are probably adjusting the dam upstream." I responded in a dry unresponsive tone, which he noticed and thankfully didn't stand for.

"No, I'm serious, I think we need to move!"

I'm glad that he forced me out of my haze, he was right. We quickly gathered our things and began to retreat over the rocks only to find ourselves on a quickly shrinking island. We moved quickly to the narrowest part of the rising river and jumped to the other side with only wet shoes. The river continued to rise almost 3 vertical feet, breaching the gravel bar and leaving the rock outcropping completeley under water.

There are many metaphores for life, but this experience shed bright light on my present state. In life, we often lose sight of the big picture in order to consentrate on the details. We forget about what is really important to take care of what is at hand. We forget to look around and notice the river rising and cutting us off from everything that matters. Once we finally look around (usually too late) we find ourselves stranded on an island questioning where it all went wrong and when it all happened.

I have been experiencing a rising river in my life for some time. I am never content. I don't live NOW. I live in some ethereal future. A places where, "things will be better someday." A place where my worth is determined by what I have, what I do, and who knows my name. In some small way, I have been aware of this--although I have become quite adept at ignoring it--for some time, but a journey that challenges this thinking at its core really lets the dam loose.

So for now, I need to keep my head up. I need to force myself to look around and find an exit from the rising waters before they claim me or leave me stranded. I need to act fast, I cannot wait to see if the river is just rising a little, because a little might be too late.

There are some big truths to paint into my mental canvas, but that is another post.