Sharing my house
I dont like to share. My stuff is just that- MINE.
I was raised as an only child (I have two half- siblings, but they did not live with us most of my life), so when something was given to me- no one else could touch it. This didn't prove successful for me then or now.
My house is a good example. Where I live generally turns into a massive dirty junk heap. I realize the junking is a form of isolation. If it's a mess, no one will come there- thus making it a nice place for me to hole up and be greedy about all my stuff.
But as I get older, I realize that people- most people- like to get together and socialize at each others dwellings. How strange! Do they realize the amount of time it will take for me to make my house a place where it would be safe, much less pleasurable to socialize in?
Every once in a while I would stuff all the crap in one room and be able to pass the house off as livable- until I got friends who wanted to see the crap heap. What did they do? They barged in and demolished the heap- leaving me with a cleaned up space.
Since then I realized it'd be a diservice to these friends to let the house get this way again.
I read once that clutter cannot be organixed- that no amount of bins, shleves, hooks or gadgets will make my house- which is quite small- be able to contain the amount of items I own.
So- the downsizing has been substantial. And it doesnt stop. Every day I'm trying to look for things that can go away- and the freedom is amazing.
It occurred to me tonight, as I've been picking up in preparation for a play day at my house tommorow (yes- MY house), I no longer have to panic when someone is schedule to enter my home. It's freaking LIVABLE for once!
So here I am- letting go of my stuff- sharing my space- my stuff. Because thats what real people do.
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2 comments:
oh hi - i found your blog at exactly the right time. i'm doing the same thing, in a slightly different way. and i don't have kids to worry about; just me. it's still hard as hell. strange, isn't it, this love/hate relationship we have with our Stuff?
i'm downsizing my space a lot, that's the first step. my wonderful sister is letting me live with her and her husband and two young sons while i build my dream house in her side yard (on wheels). we've put a limit on the time i can take doing it, but it's a big deal. i'm a little afraid to fail. what if i fail?? oh god, i'm really afraid i'll fail at this.
Are we twins? I almost could have written your post (except for the friends who demolished the heap...I'm torn between wishing I had friends like that and grateful that nobody knows how bad its gotten).
I've been reading your blog last night and this morning. I'm definitely linking it to my (newly begun) blog because so much of what you say really resonates with me and I'm sure with many others.
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