When I'm most tempted
There is something about me that causes me to overindulge when I'm lonely and bored. I'm just one of those people who can't seem to fill the time when I'm alone. Now- lets make it clear that I'm never truly alone- I have kids with me all the time.
But this morning Matt left for a company retreat for three days.
Here's a normal day when Matt's out of town: My first instinct is to go to the grocery store- buy some Oreos and some TV dinners. Go home, go online and browse a little. Then pick up my son from school- go down into town and go to Target or even the mall. Grab some dinner at Pasta Pomodoro, grab some Starbucks and a magazine. Then go home and go to bed.
So- YIKES! That is wrong in so many ways right now.
First of all- I don't go to our grocery store anymore- I tend to over spend there, and we've just found that sticking with a bi-weekly trip to Trader Joe's is better for us. The food I'd buy would be for binge purposes only. I cant do that anymore! It's not right!
Then, wasting all my home time on the computer; shopping for more than we need right now is wrong.
Taking the kids down the hill to go shopping is against our pledge. We need nothing at Target- in fact I'm not going to Target right now. Even though there's health items there- it's just too tempting. And the mall- I've always loved the mall, but right now it just seems like such a waste of space to me.
Going to Pasta Pomodoro is the toughy for me. Going out to dinner is something we all thoroughly enjoy and dont plan to give up. But tonight? Is that the wisest decision?
Starbucks...sheesh- I have an expensive Barista machine here at home and tend to be more satisfied by my own Lattes than the ones I buy there.
So, what now? Why is it so hard for me to have Matt gone?
Do I not have enough to do around here? Laundry is piled high- the kids rooms is a disaster again. I have plenty to do. Why do I want to get out?
I have no solution for myself right now- no wise exposition on time management. Just some frustrated run on sentences. Thanks for reading, though!
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3 comments:
I wish we lived closer to you guys so you and I could have girlie time while Matt is away!
isn't this the core of consumerism, though? we spend because we feel alone. if we are busy acquiring things, we don't notice our loneliness so much.
and only by maintaining sixteen separate households for three generations of people (who in many cultures manage to live together somewhat peacefully) can we possibly justify having - not one, but sixteen of every common household item. sixteen coffee makers, sixteen spade shovels, sixteen lawn mowers, sixteen (or really, thirty two or more) vehicles... and on and on.
we don't need people! we need independence, we need duplication! the consumer mindset screams. and where do the messages come to us? straight through the TV, the papers, the magazines (which we also pay for)... very clever system, isn't it?
and we're trading our lives for the money. we give the consumerism religion everything we have, 'til death do us part.
i'm overdoing it a bit today, but you're there with me.
Gosh, I can really relate. This is my new favorite blog, btw.
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